I want to catch Lang Lang.
And the Berliner Philharmoniker.
And get my iphone 4.
.
And get out of school. Yes. I think getting away from certain groups of people is key to my sanity and holding things together. Stupidity should be prosecuted.
We could have. I want what they have.
Oh you have no fucking idea what this feels like. One by one, we’ll fall into the world of forced smiles and resignation. Tears are illegal aliens because oh you chose this. You chose this with your silence.
You cannot understand what this feels like, so please stop pretending like you do.
Filed under: What really grinds my gears | Tags: hello i want to go home. FINISH ALREADY DAMMIT, home is still the best, School sucks
I’m throwing a hissy fit in my mind because I’m still in the most annoying place called school, waiting for a bunch of people (who seem to refuse to leave school) to finish rehearsal. In retrospect, it just goes to show that I am in the laziest group since none of us can be bothered to really rehearse and stuff. But hey, it’s goddammit nine. Normal people go home in the evening. 
何これ! I really really want to go home. (Fuck fuck fuck) Yats, can you tell I’m nearly ready to rip something up?
I’m a Daddy’s girl. But the person I trust the least, is ironically Daddy himself. Because he always takes what little faith I can muster, and throws it to the dogs.
Thanks, for nothing.
Filed under: Family, What really grinds my gears | Tags: this is me not liking you
I don’t get this dissatisfaction with everything. I am not good enough, and so are you, and this, and that. This restlessness, the itch to be out and about, only to crave the sanctuary of these four walls once I’m out. The annoyance with everything and anything, (though to be honest, you especially). I haven’t really been going to school, what with this churning mix of everything that’s bitter and sour, and repeated bouts of sickness, and it feels right and wrong at the same time.
My better half would make things better… if only he wasn’t just a figment of my imagination. He’d chase away the demons, I just know he will.
.
& Daddy, I know your secret now. We know your secret. I don’t know where this nonchalance is coming from though. What happened to feeling? Perhaps, it’s been buried under layers of masks and pretense and lies and tales that say I am used to your bullshit. I don’t know whether to hate you or love you. You tell me.
I want out, I need out. Dammit, when will it finally be my turn. (Don’t forget me Papa. I’m small and insignificant, but I’m still here.)
