I remember you.

The Future

mymemoriesofyou — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 07:25:52 +0000

I want to catch Lang Lang.

And the Berliner Philharmoniker.

And get my iphone 4.

And get out of school. Yes. I think getting away from certain groups of people is key to my sanity and holding things together. Stupidity should be prosecuted.

Waterline

mymemoriesofyou — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 04:34:26 +0000

We could have. I want what they have.

Oh you have no fucking idea what this feels like. One by one, we’ll fall into the world of forced smiles and resignation. Tears are illegal aliens because oh you chose this. You chose this with your silence.

You cannot understand what this feels like, so please stop pretending like you do.

Our Story

mymemoriesofyou — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:52:56 +0000

Excuse me while I panic a little. It’s nothing you know, just that I have no date to the wedding tomorrow and I feel like a lamb being thrown to the slaughter. I’m pretty sure I’m exaggerating a lot.

Fuck, who am I kidding? I need a bloody date. I cannot deal with that many people on my own

Shadow

mymemoriesofyou — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:54:22 +0000

One day you’ll learn, and then you’ll realize not everything has to make sense. Maybe it’s time to accept green for green, and purple for purple. There should be no weird connotations here and there because it just doesn’t belong. There’s a time to stand up to protest with all your might but that time isn’t now, and may never come.

It is not yet time to be.

Love,

Tine

It was you,

mymemoriesofyou — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:32:34 +0000

Passion Jump

mymemoriesofyou — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 17:35:06 +0000

Oh God, I miss you. It’s not the same, and I’m a terrible procrastinator. Will you still be there when I’m ready to go back?

I need you to tell me everything will be okay, and we’ll survive this mess. I need your hugs and assurances and love. Papa, I need you to tell me I’m not dreaming for naught. I need the comfort even my boys cannot give.

Please be there when I’m ready to go back.

Don’t You Want To Come Home?

mymemoriesofyou — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 10:33:48 +0000

Butterfly

mymemoriesofyou — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:06:06 +0000

I love the silence of the night, the mysteries that are hidden in the darkness, and the beauty of being at peace with myself. At night, there is no need to hide behind a front, no need for half-hearted replies and painful smiles. It is just my mac and I, alone in the dark and contented.

Three years on and I have yet to regain my trust in people and things. I drift from one group to the next with just a few fixed regularities and perhaps it is for the best. Some things are best hidden from closed minds. It’s been rather mellow since I started closing myself off from nearly everyone else. Crazy late nights once spent complaining about how much I hated home are now spent in the very place I despised, admiring pretty boys or flopping around doing nothing at all. I decided awhile ago that I like the new, and home became my favourite place. Maybe, once you start learning to love yourself and your family, you learn to trust.

My best friend’s birthday is in five days. I still wince when I think of the disaster of a present I gave him two (I think) birthdays ago that was filled with my insecurities and idiosyncrasies. Beautiful boys do not deserve a sorry angst-filled excuse of a present. But that’s okay, I’ll make it up with a good meal this year. Planning the menu is a bitch though considering how low in cash I am at the moment. But it’s okay, I’ll figure something out. The boy deserves something good.

But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink, the very air I breathed, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the threatening metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at 4 o’clock in the morning.

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle – Murakami

Keep safe.

Peak

mymemoriesofyou — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 04:57:37 +0000

It’s better to just pretend that everything is a peach. Things are pretty awful back home and we’re approaching the dreaded month. I need more money. Sometimes pretty boys just aren’t enough to chase the bats away.

I’d give anything for this to be a bad dream.

守りたい

mymemoriesofyou — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 13:01:16 +0000

I’m throwing a hissy fit in my mind because I’m still in the most annoying place called school, waiting for a bunch of people (who seem to refuse to leave school) to finish rehearsal. In retrospect, it just goes to show that I am in the laziest group since none of us can be bothered to really rehearse and stuff. But hey, it’s goddammit nine. Normal people go home in the evening.

何これ! I really really want to go home. (Fuck fuck fuck) Yats, can you tell I’m nearly ready to rip something up?